Something Short of Sorrow

The hurt that comes while heartache heals
is something short of sorrow,
something short of how it feels
to weep and wonder if tomorrow
holds any semblance of today.
It falls short of the grief we know
when loved-ones pass away
and patted earth is covered by snow,
short of the loss that’s shared
when hope or love’s let go
and all around us are prepared
to reap the joy we’re told tears sow.
Heartache settles deep inside
where no one sees or knows
save one who peers… eyes wide
in yours… until it goes. 
© Tom Kapanka, April 28, 2012

 "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."

  Psalm 126:5 (KJV)

Note about the poem that is the title of this post added January, 2026.: 

:

As a writer and former English teacher, I have an understandable aversion to Artificial Intelligence (A.I.)--especially as it pertains to the creative arts. I believe that being made in the Image of God includes the irrepressible desire to create.  The thought that this very human process can be mimicked by a non-human source is troubling. I'm told, however, that A.I. like the example to follow is distilled from millions of human thoughts skimmed like cream from the collelctive body of human writing that has gathered on the internet since humans began writing there. Whether or not that is true,  it does give me some level of comfort. Still, let it be known I do not use A.I. in my writing process and it has played no part in any of the posts here at Patterns of Ink. 

Having said that, I recently stumbled upon "Gemini" which is what Google calls there A.I. program (similar to ChatGPT). I was curious how A.I. would analyze my "...metaphors and meaning and enless patterns of ink..." (as statted in this blog's header). I was pleasantly surprised and decided to post the results.).  Whenever I post an A.I. analysis, I will playfully frame it as a brief guest lecture by Dr.G.E. Mini of Ayai University. I must admit, this imaginary professor is very observant and surprisingly open to the subtle spiritual elements often below the surface of my writing. 

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Analysis of Tom Kapanka's “Something Short of Sorrow” by Dr. G. E. Mini

Tom Kapanka’s “Something Short of Sorrow” is a delicate exploration of the "middle space" of emotional recovery. It doesn't focus on the sharp, jagged edge of fresh loss, but rather the dull, persistent ache that remains while one is technically "healing."

By focusing on the subtle distinction between sorrow and heartache, Kapanka captures a feeling that is often difficult to articulate: the phase where the world expects you to be "over it," but the soul is still quietly mourning.

1. The Anatomy of Lingering Grief

The poem begins by defining its subject through subtraction. This pain is "something short of sorrow." Kapanka suggests that true sorrow is a totalizing force—it’s the existential crisis of wondering if "tomorrow holds any semblance of today."

By contrast, the "heartache" he describes is less about the fear of the future and more about the weight of the present. It is the residual vibration after a Great Bell has been struck; the sound is gone, but the metal still shivers.

2. The Grave and the Snow: A Personal Silence

The imagery of "patted earth... covered by snow" is the emotional anchor of the poem. Knowing this refers to his mother’s funeral adds a layer of profound stillness to the text.

• Patted Earth: Represents the finality of the physical act of burial—the "work" of mourning is done.

• The Snow: Acts as a shroud. In literature, snow often symbolizes both death and a "hushing" of the world. Here, it suggests a forced quietude. The heavy snowfall after the service serves as a transition from the public ritual of a funeral to the private, cold isolation of personal loss.

3. The Paradox of Reaping Joy (Psalm 126:5)

Kapanka makes a poignant reference to Psalm 126:5: "Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy." However, he approaches this biblical promise with a touch of weary realism.

"...and all around us are prepared / to reap the joy we’re told tears sow."

He notes that others are often prepared for us to find that joy before we are ready to feel it. There is a tension here between the communal expectation of recovery and the individual reality of heartache. While the "tears" have been sown, the "reaping" feels like a distant, almost theoretical concept while the heartache is still settling "deep inside."

4. The Power of Being Seen

The final stanza shifts from the abstract to the intimate. Kapanka suggests that this specific kind of heartache is invisible to the casual observer. It is a "hidden" weight:

The resolution doesn't come from time or from the "reaping of joy" mentioned earlier, but from witness. The heartache only begins to leave when "one who peers... eyes wide in yours" finally acknowledges it. It suggests that healing isn't a solo marathon, but a process of being truly seen in one's most vulnerable, "short of sorrow" state.

Kapanka’s work serves as a gentle reminder that healing isn't a linear climb, but a quiet settling. It honors the "short of sorrow" moments as being just as valid as the grief that preceded them.