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patterns of ink

How fruitless to be ever thinking yet never embrace a thought... to have the power to believe and believe it's all for naught. I, too, have reckoned time and truth (content to wonder if not think) in metaphors and meaning and endless patterns of ink. Perhaps a few may find their way to the world where others live, sharing not just thoughts I've gathered but those I wish to give. Tom Kapanka

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Location: Lake Michigan Shoreline, Midwest, United States

By Grace, I'm a follower of Christ. By day, I'm a recently retired school administrator; by night (and always), I'm a husband and father (and now a grandfather); and by week's end, I sometimes find myself writing or reading in this space. Feel free to join in the dialogue.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Something Short of Sorrow

The hurt that comes while heartache heals
is something short of sorrow,
something short of how it feels
to weep and wonder if tomorrow
holds any semblance of today.
It falls short of the grief we know
when loved-ones pass away
and patted earth is covered by snow,
short of the loss that’s shared
when hope or love’s let go
and all around us are prepared
to reap the joy we’re told tears sow.
Heartache settles deep inside
where no one sees or knows
save one who peers… eyes wide
in yours… until it goes. 
© Tom Kapanka, April 28, 2012

 "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."
  Psalm 126:5 (KJV)

3 Comments:

Blogger JeannetteLS said...

Perhaps reading this today was not wise, but I do not regret it. Never have I read a description of heartache remotely like this.

Nor have I found one that resonated quite so much. It made me hope that you have written it because you have one who has peered ... so it went.

And I wonder what that is like.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

28/4/12 2:17 PM  
Blogger .Tom Kapanka said...

JeannetteLS,
Thanks for caring and commenting.

These thoughts began in my head a month ago with only the four words of the title then today the rest just came. It is a bitter-sweet irony that joy of what we know of love is ultimately rooted in what we know of loss.

It has been a difficult month (and year for that matter), but I am not alone in these trials. Many share in this particular heartache.

The photograph is not mine, but I like how the shadow of the street lamp's pole and the shaded curb seem to form a cross.

28/4/12 2:53 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

I agree. It's beautiful and resonates within my heart too. I wrote somewhere in my journal in my long, winding journey of grief that I never knew how closely joy and grief were tied together. Not until I experienced deep and profound loss. To work through that grief (and i will forever be working through it in so many different ways) is also the process of discovering joy or embracing it or believing it still exists or can be created. Sorrow. It's depth cannot be measured. I think of the hymn, "Hallelujah, What a Savior"- Man of Sorrows, what a name;
For the Son of God who came; ruined sinners to reclaim, hallelujah, what a Savior!
I am thankful for Him who took on sorrow and shame for the sake of me to one day experience joy like no other. That I have lived knowing sorrow makes me more keenly aware of His selfless gift. The fact that God allows me to hurt and others too, but that He also restores and comforts and has a purpose for the sorrowing is remarkable to me. Even if I cannot tully's comprehend why. I need only trust that He knows and I can rest in that truth. I hope by allowing others the chance to peer into my heartache, where they may have expected to find only hurt and sadness, I hope they have glimpsed the Giver of Joy. My prayer during my years of sorrowing has been a twist on the chorus you may recall... which goes, "In my life, Lord, be glorified, be glorified..." I have often replaced the word life with grief, so it goes, "In my grief, Lord, ne glorified, be glorified..." My prayers are with you that all our tears may yield sheaves and sheaves of joy. To the degree we sorrow and hurt, may His name be praised greater still.

29/4/12 11:57 PM  

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