Part VI of "Why I Don't Drink"
My Wife: I love my wife. She is understandably leery of the internet and this whole "blogging thing" so I don't write extensively about my family (i.e. "our family". I write a lot about my childhood family). Because of that I'll simply say that all of us who enjoy the privilege of a good marriage are better persons because of our spouse.
In my case, she puts me in mind of the "preacher's daughter in that song from Rascal Flatts called "Dry County Girl." We both benefited from great parental role models on this topic of drinking, and I'm confident that has made our house pleasantly "dry," because let’s face it, this topic is either a source of harmony or discord in many marriages. Thanks, Honey!
Weddings: I've been to hundreds of weddings and over half of them had "drinking" at the reception. “What are you, Tom, a wedding crasher?” Hardly, but for over fifteen years I owned a successful video production business. Among many other commercial ventures, I "shot" a couple dozen events a year. They were my bread and butter. [BTW, I was not like those jerks who make a big production out of weddings. My business-card-motto was "Helping you hold the way it was," and I deliberately tried to stay out of sight. My creative, understated style was a hit at Bridal Shows and kept my calendar full. Through those stay-at-home-mom years for Julie, my second income was a God-send, but when I moved into administration, I had to let go of my business.]
I mention my wedding experience only to say that I've seen what I'm talking about. I have not seen high school drinking events. I've not seen the college drinking scene depicted in "Animal House" or "Old School"; and as a life-long non-drinker, I've never been drunk. (The only time I feel drunk is when I'm trying to read those squiggly letters on our comments pages--those babies are a real test of the trifocals!) But when it comes to seeing adults under the influence, I've encountered countless examples from "Thank you, Ma'am, but I'm married" to "No, Sir, I'm not your son, and please breathe that way as you look for him." I've even seen a few "Can somebody help this man up? He seems to have dozed off on the dance floor."
Warning: Here comes the controversial Jesus stuff! Parts I, II, and III were about my background. Hard to argue with that. Part IV was about our culture's glamorization of drinking and drunkenness. Hard not to see that. Part V was about our concerns with under-aged drinking. Hard to ignore the law. And until this point in Part VI, I've deliberately not brought up religion and particularly not the Bible.
I've avoided doing this for three reasons: First, though I believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and though I base my life upon its truths... I'm not what some may call a Bible thumper and some of my readers wouldn't have read this far if I were. Second, many of my concerns are tied very specifically to current American cultural consequences and precise things like "blood alcohol content," beverage "proof," teens with cars, etc. which are not specifically addressed in the Bible's use of the word "drunkenness"; and third, I know that many of my readers who are like-minded on most topics may disagree on this subject, and I like to keep the peace on my blog. =)
It may surprise some that my views on abstinence are more fervently questioned by Christian peers who advocate my liberty to drink than by my non-religious friends who respect my choice not to. Why might that be?
For my non-religious friends, I'm guessing it's because they've seen more of what I'm talking about up close and personal, and for them, if they were to decide not to drink, they'd give an all or nothing approach a better shot of success.
For my fellow "Bible scholars," (college roommates, peers, etc. through the years) I think it's because we tend to “argue about” what the Bible does or does not specifically prohibit. The more literally a particular church or denomination adheres to the teachings of the Bible, the more offensive some find it to a have caution imposed on them that is not mandated in scripture. That’s understandable.
Though Christ Himself, called the path behind Him the narrow way," choosing to walk it is not a list of "dooz-n-don'ts." That would describe a "religion" rather than a relationship. The Pharisees were good at following the letter of the law without the spirit of its purpose. Today some call it “legalism,” a pejorative term, and no thinking person wants to be branded a "legalist." It poisons the well, and marginalizes his participation in any discussions such as this.
"Adding to" scripture is risky whether we hope to make it more rigid or more loose. For instance, some people add to the story of our Lord’s first miracle, the turning of water into wine at the wedding of Cana, and use it as a proof text for drinking and even as a license to “party hardy.” After all, they argue, that’s what Jesus would do.
Now, I'll admit that I'm not a big fan of the whole WWJD merchandizing fad. I admire a person’s desire to identify with Jesus by wearing something, but I find the question flawed in one respect. I believe Jesus was the Son of God. He knew everything. He could read people's thoughts, convert prostitutes, heal the lame, give sight to the blind, raise the dead, walk on water, and yes, turn that water into wine. So I think he would be well pleased for his followers to do what he told us to do rather than everything he himself did. WWJHMD: What would Jesus have me do? May be a better question.
Labels: alcoholism, blood alcohol levels, wedding at Cana, wine
7 Comments:
I have never seen any good come from excess drinking. It's probably the worst drug of all and has killed more people than all other drugs combined, not to mention people who have been killed by drunk people (car accidents, etc.)
Jesus used bread and wine to demonstrate our need to be spiritually nourished by him, so I think he drank wine the same as everyone else did at that time, but not to the point of drunkenness. And that's the problem, people don't know when to stop (or they can't stop). I think for most people alcohol is very destructive.
Great post!
Josie
There was no drinking at my reception which so upset my father that he had a seperate recveption after for his friends with drinking. Such is life. I think in this society God expects us to set an example of sobriety without becoming legalistic or self righteous. A hard task indeed.
I have enjoyed all 4 posts on "Why I Don't Drink" and it has been a blessing to me. The underage drinking, drinking and driving, and drinking while pregnant are enough reasons for anyone to rethink their position on drinking.
Now on to another thing I am in awe of... moving all four parts to one section!!!!!! I am still working on the "http" thing you helped me with (I will get it right- I just need enough time to practice). Go Tom! Just save that lesson for me until the wedding is over.
And how about those fuzzy letters? Is it just our age, our eyes, or our typing? Go figure!
Josie,
I've never thought of the connection between this his first miracle and his last "object lesson" "Except the grape be crushed and spilled out" (just as He was for us) the image doesn't work. In this case, He bypassed the "crushing" step--wonder if that maans anything? Thanks for adding to this discussion.
Dr. John,
We had none at ours either. It was in the middle of Kansas in a "dry county" so no one expected anything, but I've been to receptions where people either complained that there was no bar or that the hosts put a "limit" on it to try to keep folks sober. I was "shooting" one wedding where the bridesmaids stole the groom, took him to a strip club, got him drunk, and he wouldn't come back to dance with his bride. The DJ had to skip the opening bridal dance. Pathetic. I'd wager to say they didn't last a year.
Nancy,
As I type, my wife and daughter are working on Wedding invitations on the floor. The wedding is an on-going subplot of everything else we do. I'm sure you know what I mean. As for moving posts. I guess it's sort of "cheating" the normal chronology of blogging, but I wanted to get some feedback on these thoughts that began on St. Pat's Day, and yet I don't want them on "top" for Easter, so I'll put a "redirect post here" and change the post date and poof, they go to whatever date you send them. You have to make the time of day backwards, too, if you want them to read in sequence. Likewise, I may pull a post from Ash Wednesday in February to the top for Sunday.
Thanks for reading. That was not easy with these posts.
Most people don't pay a whole lot of attention to country music so I would no worry too much about this one song. I agreed with you from Part IV on, but I did not know so much new information was out there.
If someone can use alcohol for it's intended purpose of being a soothing help to life taken in moderation then I don't see a problem with that. I have seen so many lives destroyed by alcohol abuse though I choose now not to indulge. I have been sober for 18 years and I do not take even communion wine. My life started and I was given a second chance at life thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ that rescued me from the path that I was travelling on.
I'm just browsing comments from previous posts. Sorry I missed these. 5-10-07
Anon,
You're right about country music, but you'd be surprised by how many people (who would otherwise not like that song) endorse its misguided insinuation that if Jesus were here now he'd step into a bar and say "Drinks are on me!" This story does not support that view.
J_G,
I am especially to have missed this comment for over a month. I really appreciate your sharing this testimony here. Thank you.
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