A Front Porch Frame of Mind
There was a time when more folks
had a “front porch” frame of mind,
and they’d sit out hot nights sippin’ tea—
makin’ most of a melon rind.
They knew the beckon of a breeze
that made ‘em lean back with a sigh
and say, “Maybe five more minutes…”
to some silhouettes passing by.
“Just out for a walk,” a voice responds,
“Till the house cools down a bit.”
And by and by, more friends were there
than there were places to sit.
It was natural as a cricket’s chirp
or the smell of a new-mowed lawn
to gather there like window moths
(when an inside lamp’s left on).
Just neighbors visiting neighbors
in the kindness of the night…
where differences are dimly lit
and love needs little light.
T.K.
June 28, 1995
© Copyright 1995, Patterns of Ink
I realize this poem is a bit old fashioned with a hint of Guest or Riley , but my mother loves it because it reminds her of summer nights on her front porch as a kid. It should—that’s the porch I was thinking of when I wrote it. Grandma’s front porch was nothing fancy but big enough for a glider (that sat three adults or maybe five kids) and a few chairs. Everyone else sat on the steps or sturdy railing.
In that old turn-of-the century neighborhood, sidewalks were only about six feet from the front porches. So people passing by (on the way to Palmer Park or the little corner store) couldn't help but stop and talk. In that regard Gramma's porch was far more nostalgic and picturesque than the concrete slab porches of the little suburban ranches in Roseville, but Mom found ways to turn our front porch into the same kind of gathering place she had known.
In 1986, when my wife and I bought our first house, my parents came to share in the delight. The front porch was a tiny square (barely big enough for guests to stand aside as the door opened) enclosed by a white wrought-iron railing. One evening, Mom and I sat together on the top step with the iron hand rails at our elbows. "That's the one thing I wish this house had,” I said, “a bigger front porch." She smiled and said, "You don't have to have a front porch to have a front porch frame of mind." She had no idea those words would germinate in my thoughts for years... they're still taking root after all this time.
Think about this with me. I've never
read or heard anything about it. * The "selling features" of houses (and neighborhoods) say a lot about human relationships and social attitudes during the time of construction. At the beginning of the 20th Century, front porches were a prominent part of houses. Porches say, “Our house is your house. Sit a while and visit.”
By the end of the 20th Century, cars became part of the family. Now homeowners are more likely to be seen standing in the open door of an attached garage than sitting on a front porch. Social space has been relocated to rear decks and patios (often with
privacy fences). I confess, we enjoy our back patio and fire pit, and because we have no fences we do have “drop ins” on occasion, but I still think there’s a difference between gatherings in a back yard...and the spontaneous 
welcome offered to passers by on a front porch. "Good times” heard but not seen are less inviting than the irresistible neighborly greeting, gathering, and conversation on a front porch near a sidewalk.
Now factor in the unintended consequence of air conditioning. My grandma’s house had no AC; my house in Roseville had no AC; the house we built on the property was built without AC. Before air conditioning, hot nights drove people outdoors for walks or to their front porches to sit and hope for a breeze. There they were… outside where the night air is a slight improvement over the still air inside… sipping a glass of iced tea, slurping a slice of watermelon, etc. when someone from down the street strolls by and strikes up a conversation. The porch was a place to get acquainted (or “caught up”), to introduce the kids (and grandkids), and to share life—no invitation needed—all
because it was a hot night and no one had AC. Once "air" came along, our front doors shut, the screen windows closed, and a part of us closed off to each other.
When I was a kid spending time at my gramma’s in the summer, I actually slept through the night out on the glider on the front porch—until the night I woke up and some strange dark shadow of a man was standing on the sidewalk looking at me. It was about 1:00 or 2:00AM “You okay?” he mumbled. I sat up rubbing my eyes. “Yea, I’m fine. I’m just out here because it’s hot inside.” "You got that right; it’s a hot night.” he slurred, and he staggered on his way. From then on, I slept inside with a cool damp washcloth on my forehead.
Other than experiences like that (or with persistent salesmen or proselytizers), front porches are a place for wonderful interaction. (Case in point: I dare say more innocent “first kisses” (the kind that say, “I like you” n
ot “I want you”) have happened on a front porch than anywhere else. In fact, that’s not a bad rule-of-thumb for young dating couples who want to implement the simple rule I’ve given young people about affection: right person, right place; right reason; right time; All four “rights” have to be clear or the affection will have little meaning, and meaningless affection is a recipe for regret. That’s a little side note, but it does tie in to our front porch discussion—sort of.)
But continue to think with me about front porches just a moment longer. Are you more of a back deck, privacy-fence kind of person? Or do you have a front porch frame of mind? It’s not a "right or wrong" answer. We all need a balance of both, but knowing how you lean socially may help sweep off your “front porch,” figuratively speaking. How about your family? How about your church or “small group” (a concept large churches are inclined to use 
these days)? Are passers by welcome or do they need the courage to knock on the gate of a privacy fence? Think about it.
I'm partial, but I think outside observers to the school I oversee would say, there’s an atmosphere that’s inviting and social. The front guest counter is a hub of neighborly chatter; my office door is wide open whenever possible, and drop-ins are frequent; teachers are accessible; volunteers feel at home; the front rotunda is a gathering place for talking parents who lose track of the time (and the fact that they are illegally parked in the fire lane). The front sidewalk is full of smiles and waves.
We have a "closed campus” for
practical reasons, but the tone of our school is welcoming and inviting. People comment on this all the time. What’s your secret? Why does the UPS man smile as he waits in line for a signature? Why do parents who no longer have kids in the school still stop by to purchase SCRIP? Why do our students' friends from other schools want to visit for lunch? Why do our professionall counterparts from other schools enjoy dropping by, teaching here, or availing us of their resources? There may be many reasons, but I’ll let you in on the main one… It's not a secret... It’s a front porch frame of mind.
T.K.
*UPDATE: My mom made her poignant comment in the late 80's, and I first jotted the thoughts for the essay and poem in the early 90's. I mention this because while re-reading the post today I thought about the fact that I have never heard or read anything on what I consider a significant topic. So this afternoon, June18, I did a Google search with the words "front porch / community" and found three related articles I had never read. This one, provides the history, cultural significance, decline, and reappearance of American from porches--there's amazing agreement in our thoughts. (He tends to give more credit to the arrival of cars and television to the decline of the front porch. I still hold that AC is the biggest factor. We had cars and TV, but without AC, we spent evenings out on the porch and front lawn playing C.A.R.) This second article is shorter, but strongly underscores this post. It begins with this quote from a Tracy Lawrence song: "If the world had a front porch like we did back then, we'd still have our problems, but we'd all be friends." Get this... the author describes "Neo-traditional" communities that are going back to front porches: "The streets are designed to encourage walking and socializing among the neighbors. ...The neo-traditional neighborhoods have sidewalks and trees lining the streets for pedestrians. Front yards are shallow so that neighbors converse easily between the sidewalks and the front porches....The porch is a symbol of community, offering an invitation with its front steps reaching out and meeting the sidewalk, drawing passers-by to the comfortable chair or swing. The porch encourages family and neighborly communication." The third article is geared to senior citizens--I felt bad about that--but it's noteworthy just the same. So there you have it, I'm not the only one who believes a "A Front Porch Frame of Mind" can still work in the 21st Century. These timely links should encourage any readers who think Patterns is simply the nostalgic musings of a weekend writer--No, Sir! This is a cutting-edge blog! ;)
had a “front porch” frame of mind,
and they’d sit out hot nights sippin’ tea—
makin’ most of a melon rind.
They knew the beckon of a breeze
that made ‘em lean back with a sigh
and say, “Maybe five more minutes…”
to some silhouettes passing by.
“Just out for a walk,” a voice responds,
“Till the house cools down a bit.”
And by and by, more friends were there
than there were places to sit.
It was natural as a cricket’s chirp
or the smell of a new-mowed lawn
to gather there like window moths
(when an inside lamp’s left on).
Just neighbors visiting neighbors
in the kindness of the night…
where differences are dimly lit
and love needs little light.
T.K.
June 28, 1995
© Copyright 1995, Patterns of Ink
I realize this poem is a bit old fashioned with a hint of Guest or Riley , but my mother loves it because it reminds her of summer nights on her front porch as a kid. It should—that’s the porch I was thinking of when I wrote it. Grandma’s front porch was nothing fancy but big enough for a glider (that sat three adults or maybe five kids) and a few chairs. Everyone else sat on the steps or sturdy railing.
In that old turn-of-the century neighborhood, sidewalks were only about six feet from the front porches. So people passing by (on the way to Palmer Park or the little corner store) couldn't help but stop and talk. In that regard Gramma's porch was far more nostalgic and picturesque than the concrete slab porches of the little suburban ranches in Roseville, but Mom found ways to turn our front porch into the same kind of gathering place she had known.In 1986, when my wife and I bought our first house, my parents came to share in the delight. The front porch was a tiny square (barely big enough for guests to stand aside as the door opened) enclosed by a white wrought-iron railing. One evening, Mom and I sat together on the top step with the iron hand rails at our elbows. "That's the one thing I wish this house had,” I said, “a bigger front porch." She smiled and said, "You don't have to have a front porch to have a front porch frame of mind." She had no idea those words would germinate in my thoughts for years... they're still taking root after all this time.
Think about this with me. I've never
read or heard anything about it. * The "selling features" of houses (and neighborhoods) say a lot about human relationships and social attitudes during the time of construction. At the beginning of the 20th Century, front porches were a prominent part of houses. Porches say, “Our house is your house. Sit a while and visit.”
By the end of the 20th Century, cars became part of the family. Now homeowners are more likely to be seen standing in the open door of an attached garage than sitting on a front porch. Social space has been relocated to rear decks and patios (often with
privacy fences). I confess, we enjoy our back patio and fire pit, and because we have no fences we do have “drop ins” on occasion, but I still think there’s a difference between gatherings in a back yard...and the spontaneous welcome offered to passers by on a front porch. "Good times” heard but not seen are less inviting than the irresistible neighborly greeting, gathering, and conversation on a front porch near a sidewalk.Now factor in the unintended consequence of air conditioning. My grandma’s house had no AC; my house in Roseville had no AC; the house we built on the property was built without AC. Before air conditioning, hot nights drove people outdoors for walks or to their front porches to sit and hope for a breeze. There they were… outside where the night air is a slight improvement over the still air inside… sipping a glass of iced tea, slurping a slice of watermelon, etc. when someone from down the street strolls by and strikes up a conversation. The porch was a place to get acquainted (or “caught up”), to introduce the kids (and grandkids), and to share life—no invitation needed—all
because it was a hot night and no one had AC. Once "air" came along, our front doors shut, the screen windows closed, and a part of us closed off to each other.When I was a kid spending time at my gramma’s in the summer, I actually slept through the night out on the glider on the front porch—until the night I woke up and some strange dark shadow of a man was standing on the sidewalk looking at me. It was about 1:00 or 2:00AM “You okay?” he mumbled. I sat up rubbing my eyes. “Yea, I’m fine. I’m just out here because it’s hot inside.” "You got that right; it’s a hot night.” he slurred, and he staggered on his way. From then on, I slept inside with a cool damp washcloth on my forehead.
Other than experiences like that (or with persistent salesmen or proselytizers), front porches are a place for wonderful interaction. (Case in point: I dare say more innocent “first kisses” (the kind that say, “I like you” n
ot “I want you”) have happened on a front porch than anywhere else. In fact, that’s not a bad rule-of-thumb for young dating couples who want to implement the simple rule I’ve given young people about affection: right person, right place; right reason; right time; All four “rights” have to be clear or the affection will have little meaning, and meaningless affection is a recipe for regret. That’s a little side note, but it does tie in to our front porch discussion—sort of.)
But continue to think with me about front porches just a moment longer. Are you more of a back deck, privacy-fence kind of person? Or do you have a front porch frame of mind? It’s not a "right or wrong" answer. We all need a balance of both, but knowing how you lean socially may help sweep off your “front porch,” figuratively speaking. How about your family? How about your church or “small group” (a concept large churches are inclined to use 
these days)? Are passers by welcome or do they need the courage to knock on the gate of a privacy fence? Think about it.
I'm partial, but I think outside observers to the school I oversee would say, there’s an atmosphere that’s inviting and social. The front guest counter is a hub of neighborly chatter; my office door is wide open whenever possible, and drop-ins are frequent; teachers are accessible; volunteers feel at home; the front rotunda is a gathering place for talking parents who lose track of the time (and the fact that they are illegally parked in the fire lane). The front sidewalk is full of smiles and waves.We have a "closed campus” for
practical reasons, but the tone of our school is welcoming and inviting. People comment on this all the time. What’s your secret? Why does the UPS man smile as he waits in line for a signature? Why do parents who no longer have kids in the school still stop by to purchase SCRIP? Why do our students' friends from other schools want to visit for lunch? Why do our professionall counterparts from other schools enjoy dropping by, teaching here, or availing us of their resources? There may be many reasons, but I’ll let you in on the main one… It's not a secret... It’s a front porch frame of mind. T.K.
*UPDATE: My mom made her poignant comment in the late 80's, and I first jotted the thoughts for the essay and poem in the early 90's. I mention this because while re-reading the post today I thought about the fact that I have never heard or read anything on what I consider a significant topic. So this afternoon, June18, I did a Google search with the words "front porch / community" and found three related articles I had never read. This one, provides the history, cultural significance, decline, and reappearance of American from porches--there's amazing agreement in our thoughts. (He tends to give more credit to the arrival of cars and television to the decline of the front porch. I still hold that AC is the biggest factor. We had cars and TV, but without AC, we spent evenings out on the porch and front lawn playing C.A.R.) This second article is shorter, but strongly underscores this post. It begins with this quote from a Tracy Lawrence song: "If the world had a front porch like we did back then, we'd still have our problems, but we'd all be friends." Get this... the author describes "Neo-traditional" communities that are going back to front porches: "The streets are designed to encourage walking and socializing among the neighbors. ...The neo-traditional neighborhoods have sidewalks and trees lining the streets for pedestrians. Front yards are shallow so that neighbors converse easily between the sidewalks and the front porches....The porch is a symbol of community, offering an invitation with its front steps reaching out and meeting the sidewalk, drawing passers-by to the comfortable chair or swing. The porch encourages family and neighborly communication." The third article is geared to senior citizens--I felt bad about that--but it's noteworthy just the same. So there you have it, I'm not the only one who believes a "A Front Porch Frame of Mind" can still work in the 21st Century. These timely links should encourage any readers who think Patterns is simply the nostalgic musings of a weekend writer--No, Sir! This is a cutting-edge blog! ;)
posted by .Tom Kapanka | 5:46 AM
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