Let There Be Lights!

(Reposted for 2005 by popular demand)
Prologue: [prologue is Latin for “what you say before you speak”]
Tradition tells us that in the early 16th Century, Martin Luther fixed small candles to his Tannenbaum to represent stars on a holy night (and to foster the faith required to place open flames near combustible greenery). This time-honored custom was practiced by many homes (and former homes) for centuries. By the late 1800’s, dangerous tree candles were replaced by equally dangerous electric lights. These little thumb-scorchers were still in use when I was a kid; they were about the size of night-light bulbs, but they burned so hot they could dry-roast a balsam fir in twenty-four hours. (Scotch pines took longer.) Every year we heard stories about some family that left their tree lit while they weren’t home, and —poof!— there went Christmas up in smoke.

The late 20th Century produced one of the un-sung advancements of the technological revolution: cool-burning miniature Christmas tree lights. Recent studies have shown that these ubiquitous lights are now more likely to cause a nervous breakdown than a fire. In fact, Christmas Light String Manufacturers and Suppliers (CLauSMAS) recently reported that since 2001 more homes have burned to the ground during the holidays due to deep-fat turkey fryers than imported Christmas tree lights. Now that’s progress!

The safety of low cost miniature lights has redefined the law of “supply-and-demand.” The more Christmas lights China exports to America, the more things we find to attach them to. Some legislators warn that if a reasonable non-proliferation agreement isn’t soon struck, stringed lights may take over our neighborhoods like kudzu vines, which in turn could jeopardize China’s “favored nation” status. Meanwhile, the compulsion to “deck” (as the carol suggests) continues to reach far beyond “the halls.”

As a stop-gap measure, some religious leaders have revived Luther’s implied “Tannebaum Doctrine,” as they call it, which suggests that the use of Christmas lights be limited to evergreen things (including wreaths, garland, shrubs, etc.) Liberal theologians either disclaim the doctrine or argue that Luther intended it to include all things combustible not just green (thus allowing parishioners to trim their houses, etc.). I have no quarrel with those who hold the broader view as long as they are willing to defer to the “weaker brother” when appropriate (I Cor.8:9). Speaking of brothers…it may be helpful to read the following story before choosing sides in this seasonal debate.