Pimp My Toad!

Photo by Paul Ouboter / Conservation International

From AP wire, June 4, 2007: A toad [atelopus toad] with fluorescent purple markings was discovered in the mid-2006 by Surinamese scientists Paul Ouboter and Jan Mol as they surveyed the remote plateaus of eastern Suriname, South America.

Full article here.

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I should begin by saying I’m aware of the origins and distasteful connotations of the word “pimp,” and I don’t generally use the word. For a guy my age to say “it doesn’t mean that anymore,” is as ill-advised as insisting that “gay” still means “carefree and happy” because it meant that from the 1920’s to the mid-60s when the Flintstones ["gay old time"] Theme was written. I’m fascinated, however, with how words “mean” and equally intrigued that their meaning can change significantly over time or in an instant.

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Two examples: I just Googled the word columbine, but the top entries had nothing to do with this beautiful blue bloom for which a school was named in Littleton, Colorado. Perhaps someday, my children’s children will think only of a flower when they hear the word columbine.

Example two: when we were kids, my brothers an I used to wear nothing but thongs all summer long. Especially when we were camping. Mom insisted we wear our thongs to the bathhouse. People would sometimes stare at us--I think it was that flip-flop sound they made against the soles of our feet. Sometimes we wore tennis shoes, but mostly we wore our thongs. My kids hate when I slip and call them that.

Words can change. The title verb “pimp,” for instance, has assumed a common "positive" meaning that has upstaged its origin. It no longer refers only to a vile, degrading, illegal enterprise nor to the way such entrepreneurs walk (strutting down the street of school hall as if rhythmically pushing aside waist-high wheat [circa 1970]).

At the turn of this new century, the verb “pimp” began meaning transforming something that was uncool into something cool—so cool it’s HOT, so hot it’s good, so good it’s BAD (in the good sense of that word). One could say that the word “pimp” has been “pimped” into a better word. My Grandma used to say of a creative friend who had a Be-dazzler, “She could make a silk purse out of sow’s ear.” Now she could say to a teen, “She could pimp a pig's ear into a purse.”

This new meaning is best illustrated in the title of the hit MTV show (which I’ve never seen) called Pimp My Ride, meaning “Please give my junky car an extreme make-over.” Each week’s show begins with a junky car that is artfully transformed into a cool hot rod with all the bells and whistles and “BLING.” The transformed car is more about show than speed—it’s about turning heads with the help of all senses. The end results include traveling "light shows" and powerful speaker systems that redefine "earth moving equipment."

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Have you ever shared an intersection with these hidden speakers? It's annoying. The bobbleheads in all the cars start shaking. If you can't tell where that bone-rattling sub-woofers beat is coming from, just look for the driver who seems sort of... well, JUMPY... like a frog, which brings us back to the subject at hand....

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When I was a kid I caught a green tree frog like this one and kept it all summer in a gallon glass jar. I named him Toby (“Awwwwwwe,” I hear you.)
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Tree frogs are so cool because they have suction cup toes and can climb up glass and bedroom walls, but their neatest trick is changing colors to blend into their surroundings. The first time Toby did it, it freaked me out. This gray frog [right] is the same one on that green leaf to the left .

This is a "red-eyed tree frog. He and his friends in the next two photos live in the rain forests of South America along with that new species at the top. Seeing them makes me wonder if the common, plain colored frogs and toads are jealous of the "flashy" tree frogs? If they were hanging around down at some little froggy A &W by the swamp, don’t you think these tree frogs would kind of strut past the plain toads as if to say “Yo, check it out. I got BLING to spare.”

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Wouldn't it be funny if there was a little froggy tattoo shop where the plain frogs and toads that don't dramatically change their looks went and pointed to a picture on the wall and said, "I want that lime-green job" or "I saw racing stripes you did on a toady friend of mine last week. Do you think they would make me look fat?"

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On the other hand, maybe the plain toads aren't jealous at all. Maybe they think these fellas looked a little “carefree and happy.” (“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” croaks a frog named Jerry.) When I first saw the AP picture of the "new species" at the top of this post, I thought the Discovery Channel had launched a pilot for a new show called "Pimp My Toad!"

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Can't you just imagine the plain brown-paper-bag toad below watching that show, thinking, "That'll be the day I let my kid run around in a get-up like that. Hey, you guys, come get load of this toad." Then his family hops into the TV room and his daughters say, "We kinda like it, Dad," and the dad-toad's smile turns to a frown.

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Seriously, though, we humans can’t complain. At least we are all content with our natural appearance. We don't care what people think about our "looks," and are not affected by the tone of our surroundings. Right? Okay, maybe not, but at least we all get some love and attention before we croak.

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It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon here. Time to go "pump my ride." We're taking the bikes out for a spin!