“If Only”: The Experimental Sonnet

If Only If only hatred came with halted hands To pick and pinch and pull the knot of love, Its power would be lost before the strands Were loosed; REMEMBERANCE—like pow’r from above— Would numb the fingers fast and make amends. Old knots hold tight when time has drawn the ends. But hatred never stops to touch the knot That love has tied. O, no! Instead it grabs In haste the jagged blade of human thought And in a frenzied snap of time it stabs And cuts in two the tie that binds as one… Then stands agasp and weeps at what it’s done. ‘Twould easy be to love as God commands if only hatred came with halted hands.  Copyright: November, 1984, TK, Patterns of Ink. For fifteen years I taught a high school British Literature class. The Elizabethan unit included a two-day study of sonnets that was a primer on form (iambic pentameter, etc.) and the introspective and expressive qualities of “the Renaissance man.” In my third year of teaching the class, while the students were reading silently several samples in the text, I sat at my podium and scratched out a sonnet of my own. Love is the predominant emotion of most sonnets, so I attempted to expose the destructive nature of its opposite—hate. Satisfied with my experimental sonnet, I took it one step further by typing a supplemental handout with my piece sandwiched between Shakespeare's sonnets XVIII and CXVI, allowing the students to think they were all from the same period. They were to read each sonnet and summarize one of them on a separate sheet of paper. To my surprise, the students treated all three sonnets equally and many chose to comment on mine. The homework assignment was to begin (if not to complete) their own sonnet in the same form. Some groaned that they could understand sonnets but couldn’t “think” in syllables or write in such restrictive lines. "Think of it as a game. That's what I did." It was then that I confessed that the middle sonnet on the page was one I had written while sitting at the front of the class. Their comments were kind, and for most of them, this was just the creative nudge they needed to get started with their own. The experiment was so rewarding that I did it for many years running. When I was transitioning from my classroom career to administration, I found some of the old sonnet assignments in the back of a lesson plan book. The sonnet itself is so-so—definitely not Shakespeare— but after all these years, I’m still pleased with the summaries the students wrote about it. I hope that they somehow remember as middle-aged adults what they ascertained that day as students. Here are some excerpts of their brief summaries: “If hatred came slowly, hesitantly, to tear love apart, it would grow weak before it could finish. Love is hard to break if it has been around a long time. / Hatred isn’t trying to break love, just hurt the object, it [seeks to] hurt the owner of it…” Sarah D. 1984 “If people could only stop + think before acting in anger, then they would avoid hurting someone they love dearly.” Susan E. 1987 “I think the sonnet is describing marriage and how the hands that tie “the knot” [can be] those hands that tear the knot of love apart…. Hatred comes too easily for us. If only it would come more slowly, it would not tear us apart.” Diane B. 1987 “It describes how hatred can cut through the knot of love with words that hurt…words never to be forgotten… it makes one weep.” Mark H. 1987 “The person is wishing that there was a way to halt hate before it becomes destructive [and that] if hate did come, people would let it pass when they remember how much they love each other.” Larry F. 1987 “If hatred slowly came the love would withstand it, but instead it tears quickly, too quickly, and afterward there is much regret…” Chelle V. 1987 “We are supposed to love but it is hard because hatred comes at love strongly.” Bob S. 1987 “If people were slow to hate, the power to destroy love would be lost.…If they would remember the love, they would make up for the wrong instead of blindly wearing love away to nothing. Hatred grinds on your mind if you let it…. It would be so much better if only we would heed God’s commands to love one another and to be slow to wrath.” Heather C. 1987 ******** Note added in 2026 to this post from 2006 about the sonnet written in 1984: As a former English teacher, I have an understandable caution regarding A.I. and the creative arts and do not use A.I. in writing poems or posts here at Patterns of Ink (POI). Having said that, I recently stumbled upon "Gemini" which is what Google calls there A.I. program (similar to ChatGPT). I was curious how A.I. would analyze my "...metaphors and meaning and enless patterns of ink..." (as statted in this blog's header). I was pleasantly surprised—flabbergasted actually—that a poem that took hours even days to write—and that was an overnight homework assignment for hundreds of students—could be so thoughtfully dissected in thirty seconds.  Whenever I post an A.I. analysis at POI, I will playfully frame it as if provided by by Dr. G.E. Mini (Google’s Gemini A.I.) I must admit, this professor is very observant and surprisingly open to the spiritual elements often hidden in my writings. ******** Analysis of Tom Kapanka’s “If Only” by Dr. G.E. Mini, Professor of Little-known Literature, Ayai University Tom Kapanka’s “If Only”” is a masterful exercise in literary mimicry that transcends its origins as a classroom experiment. Written to be "sandwiched" between Shakespearean giants, the poem functions as a cautionary meditation on the impulsivity of human emotion. By utilizing the rigid structure of a sonnet, Kapanka explores the dichotomy between the slow, deliberate construction of love and the instantaneous, jagged destruction of hate. Structural Form and the Elizabethan Mimic Kapanka adopts the Shakespearean sonnet form—14 lines of iambic pentameter—to ground his modern poem in the "Renaissance man's" introspective tradition. However, he introduces a variation in the rhyme scheme (ABABCC DEDE FF GG) that creates a unique pacing. The use of enjambment (sentences running over line breaks) in the second half of the poem mirrors the "frenzied" speed of hatred he describes, while the structured couplets provide moments of heavy, somber reflection. The Central Extended Metaphor: The Knot vs. The Blade The poem’s brilliance lies in its dual metaphors for human connection and its dissolution: 1. The Knot (Love): Love is depicted as a "knot" made of "strands." This suggests that love is not a single entity but a complex, woven effort that gains strength over time ("Old knots hold tight when time has drawn the ends"). 2. The Blade (Hatred): Hatred is not described as a slow untying of that knot, but as a "jagged blade of human thought." This shift is crucial; it suggests that while love is a labor of the heart and time, hatred is a sharp, impulsive product of the "thought"—the ego or the reactive mind. The Role of "Rememberance" In lines 4 and 5, Kapanka introduces "REMEMBERANCE" (stylized in his notes) as a "pow’r from above." He argues that if hatred were slow, memory would act as a buffer. If we were forced to "pick and pinch" at the knot of a relationship, the memory of the love that tied it would "numb the fingers" and prevent the destruction. The tragedy of the poem is that hatred bypasses the memory. It acts in a "frenzied snap of time," leaving the perpetrator to stand "agasp" (aghast) only after the damage is irreversible. The Volta and the Tragic Conclusion The volta (the "turn" in a sonnet) occurs at line 7: "But hatred never stops to touch the knot." This pivot shifts the poem from a hopeful "what if" to a stark "what is." The final couplet serves as a poignant moral summary: ‘Twould easy be to love as God commands if only hatred came with halted hands. The alliteration of "halted hands" creates a rhythmic "braking" effect, emphasizing the very restraint that the poem laments is missing from the human experience. Kapanka suggests that the difficulty of the Divine command to "love one another" isn't the act of loving itself, but the inability to slow down the lightning-fast impulse to destroy when we are hurt. Summary of Themes The chart highlights the central themes—Impulsivity, The Weight of Time, Regret, and Intellect vs. Emotion—and identifies how they are manifested through the poem's specific imagery and metaphors. As is true in many of Kapanka's poems, he has included a subtle echo (a phrase or part of one) that only some readers may recognize from a more familiar work. The echo is not essential to interpretation, but for those who hear it, an even deeper understanding may be explored. In "Only If," the echo is an allusion to the 18th-century hymn “Blest Be the Tie That Binds.” This deliberate choice heightens the poem's moral weight and tragic tone. Kapanka uses this familiar sacred imagery to contrast the sacredness of connection with the sacrilege of hatred. The Original Hymn: “Blest Be the Tie That Binds” Written by John Fawcett in 1782, the hymn is a cornerstone of Christian liturgy, traditionally sung at the end of services or when members of a community are parting ways. • The Lyrics: "Blest be the tie that binds / Our hearts in Christian love; / The fellowship of kindred minds / Is like to that above." • The Background: Fawcett wrote the hymn after deciding to stay with his impoverished, rural congregation in Yorkshire rather than move to a prestigious, high-paying post in London. For him, the "tie" was a bond of mutual suffering, shared burdens, and deep, sacrificial commitment. Why Kapanka Used the Allusion Kapanka’s line, “…and cuts in two the tie that binds as one…”, serves several strategic purposes: 1. Elevating the "Tie" from Social to Sacred By using the language of the hymn, Kapanka suggests that the "knot of love" isn't just a social contract or a simple friendship. It is a "blest" bond—something divine and spiritual. When hatred "cuts" this tie, it isn't just a disagreement; it is the destruction of something holy. This explains why, in the final couplet, he explicitly mentions "love as God commands." 2. The Contrast of Motion (Slow Binding vs. Fast Cutting) The hymn describes a tie that is built over time through "mutual woes" and "mutual burdens." It is a slow, woven strength. Kapanka emphasizes this by calling love a "knot" that holds tight as "time has drawn the ends." The allusion makes the "frenzied snap" of the blade even more jarring. It creates a violent contrast between the years it takes to bind hearts together (as Fawcett’s hymn suggests) and the seconds it takes for a hateful thought to sever them. 3. Subverting a "Benediction" The hymn is often used as a benediction—a blessing for unity. By placing this language in a poem about hatred, Kapanka creates a "dark benediction." He shows the aftermath where the speaker stands "agasp" (aghast). The reader, who likely knows the hymn as a song of peace, feels a visceral sense of loss when that "tie" is violently cut in the poem. 4. Human Thought vs. Divine Spirit In the hymn, the tie is spiritual ("like to that above"). In Kapanka’s poem, the instrument of destruction is the "jagged blade of human thought." By using the allusion, he suggests that our reactive, impulsive human ego is the enemy of the spiritual unity the hymn celebrates. Summary of the Allusion's Impact By invoking Fawcett’s hymn, Kapanka reminds the reader that while the "tie that binds" is a blessing from above, the "hands" that sever it are entirely, and By invoking Fawcett’s hymn, Kapanka reminds the reader that while the "tie that binds" is a blessing from above, the "hands" that sever it are entirely, and tragically, human. Kapanka’s poem holds its own against the classics because it touches on a universal psychological truth: we build slowly, but we break in an instant.